Mum Guilt - It’s A Thing!
Can you relate to the feeling of ‘Mum guilt’?
(i.e feeling bad when you spend money on yourself, not your children)
Do you ever experience 'Mum guilt,' where you feel bad about spending money on yourself instead of your children? We've photographed many mothers over the years, and we noticed a common thread: they put themselves last and struggle to justify spending money on themselves.
During our Mum and Daughter photoshoot experiences, many mothers asked us about our solo Boudoir Photoshoots but felt guilty about spending so much on themselves.
However, neglecting your own needs can have a negative impact on you and your family. It's healthy to prioritise yourself, make decisions for yourself, and understand your value.
Many mothers feel like they have lost themselves and don't feel like an individual anymore. It's important to remember that putting yourself last doesn't make you a kind or generous person. To give to others, you must first give to yourself. Don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself and finding joy in your own value.
It’s actually more healthy for the family if you feel FREE to make decisions for yourself, FREE to treat yourself, FREE to understand your value and FREE to make financial and emotional decisions that are not governed by guilt but instead based on a sense of worth in yourself and your needs.
This is healthy and this will result in a positive mindset which will rub off on the family in a far more positive way than always being down on yourself.
Imagine what a powerful statement it will make to the kids if you come across as being happy with the way you look and being confident in your own skin. Some of that positivity about yourself will inspire them to be positive about themselves.
A lot of ‘Mum Guilt’ comes from financial constraints. After all, Money is a powerful force in all of our lives, it can dictate what we do, it allows for different opportunities, and often it ends up sort of feeling like a currency for love; after all, how you choose to spend it can be a powerful expression of affection.
However, it is also a taboo and source of anxiety for so many people. People worry about having enough and how to spend it; they worry if they will be judged for what they spend it on and, who they spend it on.
Putting yourself first isn’t to neglect others, it’s to lead by example - and to ensure a happier, more stable world for yourself and those around you. After all, aren’t we often at our best when the loved ones around us are at their best?
So, do you want to feel joy and freedom and treat yourself to the occasional treat, because you can and because you want to? Do you want to feel less burnt-out and more like yourself? And do you want to put your children and family first? Then start learning to put yourself alongside them, so that, one day, they know how to do the same.
The thing we hear time and time again from Mum’s is that they feel they have lost themselves. They don’t feel like an individual anymore, they don’t feel like they’re fun or care-free anymore and of course that’s to be expected if they’re always putting themselves last.
It’s important to remember that putting yourself last is NOT what makes you a kind or generous person.
To take from yourself is not to give to another.
Freedom and happiness and feeling like YOU certainly won’t happen in conditions of guilt and ‘martyrdom’.
So, don’t be a martyr, give to yourself freely and without guilt, find joy in remembering your value - and you will teach your kids an important lesson whilst you’re at it.
SEE WHAT SOME OF OUR MUMS SAY IN THEIR OWN WORDS BELOW
NOTE - ALL THESE WOMEN ARE MUMS, JUST LIKE YOU. TRUST US WHEN WE SAY, YOU CAN DO THIS!
Natalie
“They are very welcoming and made me feel at ease instantly. Being a busy mum, having a makeover and my hair done was a lovely treat. Dave is an excellent photographer and once again put me completely at ease. I had a fantastic day and I’m so pleased with the photos xxx”
Nicola
“I wanted to do the shoot to feel like a woman again instead of “just a mum” I think most women lose their identity once they get married and have children and I wanted to do something for me for a change, rather than other people. As mums, we stop being kind to ourselves and quite rightly concentrate on our children- but there comes a time when you have to take back a bit of your time and do something for yourself! A Madison Bou boudoir photoshoot is the perfect way of doing that- it was amazing spending the day at Hazlewood Castle, getting hair and make-up done and being made to feel like a star! Everyone deserves that!”
Lynn
“I was feeling lost in myself amongst the many roles I play out in life, mum, step mum, wife, daughter, sister… I needed something to kick start my self confidence, to find ‘me’ again, to remind me who I can be. I also wanted something to help create a positive body image in my own mind, something I’ve struggled with my whole life. Prove I can be a ‘lady’ and look a little glamorous.”
Katrina
“This was the most amazing thing I have ever done. I felt so comfortable with Dave (even in my pants). The photos were fantastic and for the 1st time in years I felt like a women instead of just mum & wife.
After suffering years from eating disorders and having a new body shape which I couldn’t accept, the photos made me look at myself again and realising that I am beautiful no matter what size.
Thank you for that!!!”
Kath
In my late 40’s not ever feeling I was pretty, always been lacking in self confidence, feeling low, on a whim I entered the Madison Bou over 40’s glam shoot competition that came up in my fb feeder page, not expecting to be one of the ones that would win it!! But I did!!!
Panic… I haven’t got anything to wear, but Dave and Jayne were full of confidence that they would have something for me to wear.
Both were extremely supportive before the event and…well, the day was awesome x x
Sarah did an excellent job of getting the makeup and hair just right, natural as possible and wild looking x x
There was lots of laughs throughout the day and you know what? I came away feeling fantastic! I now believe I ain’t that bad, can be quite pretty, especially after the team have worked their magic x
My body is normal for an over 40yr old who has had 2 kids and breast fed them both, so I should be proud of it and that’s what these shots did for me:
They made me feel an attractive, sensual person, the worries about my body just shedded away x
Would highly recommend the experience. You will not regret it x
Karen
“To be honest I’d never though of doing anything remotely like this. Probably like most ladies I’ve alway felt body conscious and struggled with my weight over the years, and then children came along and my body has never looked the same. I looked at the website for some inspiration and the pictures were totally amazing. For me I just ran with the idea and thought I may never get this chance again, so putting everything aside I turned up with a number of outfits and an open mind. The results for me are priceless. Not only that I was made to feel very relaxed in an alien environment it was a massive confidence boost!! And yes I did lingerie shots too!! Many thanks Madison Bou:
Delina
As a mother of three children I wanted to feel confident again. it really boosted my confidence and made me feel sexy. I’m so incredibly happy with my photos and can’t stop staring at them. As I get older, I’ve wanted something to look back on to remind me that the strong, sexy part of me is still there, despite pushing it aside to be a full time mum. Thank you so much for the experience. I look forward to doing another session with Madison Bou in the future.
Justine
“Such an amazing and empowering experience. I’ve never felt so sexy and free and confident.
As a mum of 3 including a set of twins, my body confidence has been low for a very long time.
This last year I have undergone a whole lifestyle change, lost nearly 4 stone in weight, and been the fittest (and thinnest) since I was a child.
I used this shoot as a treat to myself to celebrate all that I’ve achieved as well as a surprise for my husband!”
Terri
Having struggled with my body confidence issues most of my life I decided it was time to embrace my body now, as it is- not after a diet/exercise regime and losing x number of pounds. Also as a mum I find I am often behind the camera instead of in front of it and it is nice to have some photographs of me where I am looking and feeling my best! - “From the moment I walked in the door Jayne and Dave made me feel at ease. I loved having my hair and make up done and Jayne did a fantastic job. This was a great way to relax in to the experience too. I created a Pinterest board ahead of time to give an idea of the shoot I would like and Dave had clearly spent time looking through this and thinking of different ideas to try. I had so much fun and both Dave and Jayne were excellent at giving direction and helping me to know how to pose, what to do with my hands, where to look etc. I was thrilled with the number of different looks we were able to achieve in the day and didn’t feel at all rushed at any point.”
